“I’m tired of making new year’s resolutions that quickly become a distant memory. How can I stick to them?”
WE desire change so much, yet we lose traction and find ourselves ending the year with the same resolutions as the last? Here are two thought-starters that may help you think through it differently.
The stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves are often negatively-biased - focussed towards what we believe is wrong, not good enough or needs fixing. Over time and with much repetition, this becomes a lens through which we view ourselves. This is de-motivating and eventually sabotages our best efforts, blocking the self-belief and longer-term motivation needed.
“Sometimes I think I’m not good enough”, said Tiny Dragon.
“A cherry tree doesn’t compare itself to other trees … it just blossoms” said Big Panda.
“Big Panda & Tiny Dragon”, James Norbury
Exceptions: Think of a time when you overcame something difficult or implemented a positive change. What unique strengths, traits and actions did you bring to it, how were you able to do it, what conditions supported this?
We also need to start with the ‘who am I’ question. When we cease comparing ourselves to others and better understand our uniqueness we can work with our nature.
Get to know YOU and tailor change to fit:
- What value is the new habit speaking to?
- What creates flow - when you lose track of time?
- What makes life feel meaningful?
- What might an unhealthy habit be soothing, or helping you avoid?
- Do you want to start doing, or stop doing, a thing?
- Does it help to have a support person or do you prefer to go it alone?
- Are you a morning or a night person – how can you work with your natural cycles of energy to sustain motivation?
Joe Dispenza, in “Breaking the habit of being yourself”, puts it succinctly - “to change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorised self”. Change is possible when we bring the habitual into the light for reflection and transformation. Change is sustainable when we show up with self-compassion, self-awareness and embrace our unique selves.
“Butterflies struggle most, just before they emerge”
James Norbury
Sharlene is a Holistic Counsellor & Couples Therapist in St Ives. You can find her at www.thebarefoottherapist.com.au
